…when his daughter is your girlfriend.
Dad’s the world over react the same way, feel the same and guard the same when it comes to their (forever) little girls. However, because of the differences in cultures, the way you impress (for instance) an American dad could be similar to that of a Nigerian that but has some key additions that should be noted.
I’m going to list out most of the important things to note and all the factors that relate to them. Most of them may be familiar to you, others may not. Learn anyway, and enjoy the read!
- NEVER OVERLOOK THE IMPORTANCE OF THE FIRST IMPRESSION
Please, take this very seriously! Most dads are already suspicious of the guy their sweet little girl is with before meeting him, so they would be on the lookout for any turn-off that they can point out and use as a yardstick in their future defense – against you.
2. SHOW HIM RESPECT
This may seem easy to do, but it’s quite different with most Nigerian dads. We have various tribes in Nigeria, the most prominent being Yoruba, Hausa and Ibo. There are TONS more. Each tribe has distinctly varying cultures, all mostly marked by different actions showing respect. Learn your lady’s tribe, learn her cultures, and learn what’s respectful to fathers in those cultures. You might regret it if you don’t.
3. APPEARANCE MATTERS!
Whether or not your bride comes from a rich home, her father wants to see that a man who can take care of himself can also take care of his daughter. This goes hand-in-hand with the first point, and may be influenced by the next.
For instance, try as hard as possible to avoid:
- sagging your pants/trousers,
- wearing colors that are too bright,
- wearing tee shirts with offensive visible slogans,
- wearing makeup/loud accessories (if you have any visible piercing, please take the accessory off just for that day!)
- wearing too-casual footwear
…etc. You can dress like you’re going to a semi-casual dinner just to be on the safe side. Still don’t overdo it.
4. HAVE A STEADY SOURCE OF INCOME…
…because he’ll ask you, and if it’s not satisfactory, that’s an instant NO on his end. You don’t have to be earning in millions annually, just have a set goal for your life you’re working hard towards, it’s hard to hide it if you do. (This inspirational talk is for another day anyway)
5. COME BEARING GIFTS
This is just a way to soften the man towards you so he can give you a chance, it doesn’t mean he’ll accept you immediately, but it means he’ll hear you out (lol).
Get gifts for your lady’s mum as well, the man would be happy you made his wife happy.
6. LEARN ALL YOU CAN ABOUT HIS INTERESTS
Research! Research! Research! Know something about everything and everything about something. Never be the cause of any awkward silences. Be able to offer meaningful opinions about topics brought up and if you have opposing views, don’t argue violently like an areaboy at a bar (a riffraff), have a constructive argument. However, if you notice her old man is one that hates to be wrong, know when to stop and don’t always want to have the final say. Find out his likes and dislikes and have conversations with them in mind.
7. LEARN HOW TO COMPLIMENT GENUINELY
Yes, this goes for both the mother and the father. GENUINELY compliment some things around him; the house, his clothing choices, etc. This boosts a man’s ego and informs him that his efforts have not gone unnoticed. But, note that insincere compliments cannot go unnoticed.
8. LET HIM SEE EVIDENCE OF YOUR LOVE
Every guy can tell when another guy genuinely loves a woman; from his little actions, the way he looks at her, the way he talks to her, the attention he gives her. A father wants to know that he’s leaving his baby in equally loving hands that aren’t gentle only in the bedroom but also with her heart. Don’t be ashamed to show him this, however, please do not bring on the PDA strongly, avoid intimate physical contacts, he really doesn’t want to see that.
9. BE A MAN
You’re a man, don’t be any less. Nobody leaves a precious artifact in the care of a boy, he’ll break it. So, showing him respect or giving him his authority is not a reason to be cowardly with him. Never cower, never accept derogatory statements about your person (but don’t be violent when refusing them), and never be easily manipulated or pushed around.
10. BE RELAXED
Enjoy the meeting, keeping all these things at the back of your mind. Fear not, he’s only human, and he just wants the best for his girl. It’s like trying a new product you’re initially uncertain about and then getting comfortable with it. Relax. You may really get along with her dad eventually.
If you want more information about Nigerian cultures or parents or anything else related, feel free to contact me privately
or comment (also if you have contributions). Let’s gist.